I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
