i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
