she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think my vagina is haunted
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
