Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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