ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize