She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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