also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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