There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
