i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
