dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
