i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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