i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
