hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
