You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
