i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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