I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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