I puked a lego.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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