Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
