Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
