also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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