he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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