he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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