There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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