Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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