i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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