I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
