Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
