She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
