I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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