next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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