Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
