It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
