How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I intend to get homeless drunk
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
