She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
