Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
