Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
