Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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