Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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