Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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