I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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