he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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