Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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