Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
