Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
