You can't motorboat a personality
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
