it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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