come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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