Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my shit smells like andre
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize