Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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