OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We're too hungover to prance.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
