I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
