I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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