don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
