It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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