your thong is hanging out like whoa
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need a beard to bite.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
