The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
