You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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