1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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