A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
