He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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