Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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